Today, for reasons that will become obvious, an exception is being made to that rule.
The following essay is brought to you by Caleb Hommel of Monroe, New York, maker of fine products for your life since 1908.)
Pop quiz.
Resisting the temptation to open a new browser window and bring up Google, identify, in just a few quick words, the following individuals:
Ali Dee.
Amber Hayes.
Elizabeth Lyons.
Lydia Hollis.
Alexandra Lee.
Jordan Anderson.
Rachelle Lynae.
Wow. Those pesky pop quizzes are just as vexing, and annoying, as they were in Miss Higgins' seventh grade classroom, wouldn't you say?
Okay.
Let's try this one.
Anna Christine.
No, Christine, not Christie.
There's always some Eugene O'Neill nerd in the crowd waiting for the chance to show off.
Still batting zip?
Okay.
Let me throw you a baby bone.
Danielle Bradbery.
Oh, you say. Wait. Wait. You got it...you got it....
EHHH! Oh, I'm sorry, time's up.
Ms. Bradbery, zealous fans will already know and part time followers will remember when prodded, is the latest "next big thing" singing talent to emerge from the NBC competition show, "The Voice".
For those who are unaware, and dutifully resisted the earlier Google temptation, this charming woman child is 16 years old and sings, in an oft repeated phrase, give or take a platitude, like a seasoned pro.
Here's a little bit of that great big talent that has so many folks predictably agog.
Meanwhile, simultaneously raising the bar while lowering the age, 10 year old Anna Christine arrives on "America's Got Talent".
This charming kid not only brought the crowd to their feet but created an online buzz that peaked with the uttering of the Holy Grail of competition show platitudes...
"...a Susan Boyle moment..."
Okay.
These are some impressive kids.
But not, for me, for the reason that is making so many folks stand up and/or tear up.
Obviously, they are good kids, legitimate role models for young folks in a culture that has way more than its share of anti role models parading in and out of clubs, rehab and/or reality shows.
And if one of these young ladies was a granddaughter of mine, you'd already be weary of the smartphone videos I would likely have in your face at every opportunity.
So, when I offer you what's coming next, please spare me the tsk tsk, eye roll that unfailingly accompanies the inevitable knee jerk desire to write off anyone who would find fault with these favorites as a glass half empty cranky pants.
There is a lot to be applauded and appreciated in both of these young ladies, for that matter, in each and every one of the other, aforementioned young ladies.
But, without exception, in each and every case, there is something of value that is missing.
To the everyday ear, a closed eyed comparison of Danielle Bradbery singing "Heads Carolina, Tails Cailfornia" with Jo Dee Messina's original version of the same song would likely result in an uncertainty as to who which one was w and/or who was singing at the time.
And chances are, with the same closed eyes resulting in taking the "awww" factor off the table, you would enjoy Ms. Christine's 10 year old take on the classic song about a New Orleans whorehouse, but would likely be unable to pick her out of the singing equivalent of a line up if they spotted you three voices and an upcoming tour schedule.
There is no blame being assigned here.
There is no blame to be assigned.
There is, simply, this.
They all sound wonderful.
And they sound just like the particular already established star that they have chosen to idolize and/or emulate.
And they sound just like each other.
They are, at the heart of it, products of their generation and their culture. A culture that provides eight lane interstates to potential stardom as opposed to the long and winding roads that previous generations of singers had to travel. A culture that hands out celebrity like free sausage samples in the grocery store instead of bestowing it on those who needed both raw talent and very hard work to even get a shot.
A culture where the "big break" is no longer a one in a million possibility, but one viral You Tube performance away from standing ovation, water cooler buzz and the caption of champions..."the next Susan Boyle".
A culture whose corporate entertainment mantra has become "if at first, someone succeeds, let's get another version of that same thing on the shelves as fast, and as inexpensively, as humanly possible."
Like, for instance...
Ali Dee.
Amber Hayes.
Elizabeth Lyons.
Lydia Hollis.
Alexandra Lee.
Jordan Anderson.
Rachelle Lynae.
All of whom, at this writing, have a major label release competing for airplay and/or acceptance on country radio.
I listened to each of them earlier today.
They all sound wonderful.
And they sound just like the particular already established star that they have chosen to idolize and/or emulate.
And they sound just like each other.
(The preceding essay was brought to you by Caleb Hommel of Monroe, New York, maker of fine products for your life since 1908, most notably, the delicious and nutritious taste treat the whole family enjoys....
Velveeta.
The name 'Velveeta' is intended to connote a velvety smooth edible product. Smoothness and meltability are promoted as its iconic properties )
As is the case with most processed cheeses, the manufacturer recommends Velveeta be refrigerated after opening.)
That last tip should probably be paid the most heed.
It gets very hot under those television lights.
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