Tuesday, February 25, 2014

"....The 'Private' In Private Lives Is Oxymoronic...The Key Word Here Being 'Moronic'...."

Here's something fun.

And chock full of irony.

Old wives' tales.

Wikipedia defines them as a derogatory epithet used to indicate that a supposed truth is actually a superstition or something untrue, to be ridiculed.

The phrase comes with the assumption that a story told by old women could not have credibility, regardless of the particulars of the story. The phrase is used in the context of unvalued women's knowledge.

It can be said sometimes to be a type of urban legend, said to be passed down by older women to a younger generation.

Such "tales" are considered superstition, folklore or unverified claims with exaggerated and/or inaccurate details.

 Today, some "old wives' tales" have proven to be valid. Old wives' tales often center on women's traditional concerns, pregnancy, puberty, social relations, health, herbalism and nutrition.

A few "classic" examples.


  • Masturbation will make you blind and have hairy palms.
  • Ice cream leads to nightmares.
  • Toes pointed up signify low blood sugar.
  • Cracking knuckles gives arthritis.
  • Don't go outside with wet hair or you will catch a cold.
  • High heart rates lead to female fetuses.
  • Don't swallow gum or it will stay in your stomach for seven years.
  • Don't make silly faces or it will make the silly face permanent.
  • Chocolate leads to acne.
  • Shaving makes the hair grow back thicker.
  • Eating crusts (of a sandwich) makes your hair go curly/you grow hair on your chest
  • The appearance of white spots on the fingernails is due to lying/not eating enough green vegetables/calcium.

  • Turns out there's one more that, for unknown reasons, didn't make this list.

    Share that one with you in a moment.

    But, first.....


    By Jessica Bliss (The Tennessean )

    Just one day after TNT premiered its new unscripted series “Private Lives of Nashville Wives,” the production company behind the show already is casting for a second season.

    Evolution Media, which produced “Private Lives” in addition to the “The Real Housewives” of Orange County and Beverly Hills, sent out an email Tuesday looking for women who fit the following:

    • Attractive Caucasian and African American ages 35-45

    • Married or single/dating

    • Prominent

    • Rich/wealthy enough to live upper-class lifestyle (think “Real Housewives of Orange County”)

    • Nice house, car and toys a plus

    • Outspoken and opinionated a must

    Prospective candidates should send an email to Nashvillecastingcall@gmail.com with name, age, occupation, current photos and bio.

    Though the current cast members have yet to see how the first season plays out on screen, several said they would consider returning for another season.

    “I would probably do it again,” singer/songwriter Sarah Davidson said. “Evolution and TNT have been such amazing people to work with. They asked me to write the title track of the show (”Bright Lights Big City”). I have been honored and shocked by the support of them, and what great people they are.”




    Since this "unscripted" series has only aired once, at this writing, the jury (flat screen variety) is still out as to whether the show will be successful or not.

    Although a casting call for a second season issued before the end credits of the first episode have faded into a "Law and Order" re-run is a clue that would require nowhere near the skills of a Sherlock Holmes.

    Or Detectives Briscoe and Green, as the case may be.

    In the spirit of full disclosure, I did not watch the first episode.

    And I have no plans to watch the program.

    I have, in fact, seen more than one airing of more than one trailer for the show, though.

    And, with the sense of it that I got from the trailer, I realized that I have no plans to watch the program.

    The first, best reason is that "unscripted", "reality" programs that consist of people whining about their lives, bitching about other people and the way other people whine about their lives, people who seem to operate under the delusion that an upper middle class lifestyle makes their lives any more special or view worthy than any one else and shows that trowel on the tantrums, bury us with backstabbing and light up our viewing rooms with a hard candy coat of conniving just ain't my cup of tea.

    Or sweet tea, as the case may be.

    Regardless of whether those people reside in Beverly Hills or Nashville, Tennessee.

    The second reason I don't plan on catching the catfights is my overall emotional impression of the presentation, based on what I saw promoted in the trailers.

    Embarrassment.

    I lived, and worked, in Nashville for over twenty years, from the mid 1970's until the mid 1990's.

    I worked in and around Music Row, over those years, in a variety of capacities, in a variety of venues, from publishing houses to recording studios to demo studios, worked and met with and count as friends and professional peers some of the world's most talented, proficient and professional writers, producers, publishers, singers, musicians, label people, studio engineers and their families and, not once, in twenty plus years did I ever encounter the kind of cheap, cheesy, bimbo, backstabbing, barking bitch bullshit that TNT is shoveling out each week under the catastrophically misleading title that includes the words ".....of Nashville....".

    Nashville, the city, is a remarkable blend of big city spark and small town values, "Metropolitan Mayberry" my friends and I have called it, affectionately, for years, given that combination of virtues. A world class symphony, revered and respected educational facilities,  medical schools and heath care facilities second to none in the world, the home of major league sports and the kind of city/town that presents itself to the first time visitor as the ideal place to raise a family and live a fine life.

    A city that deserves every accolade that anyone is inclined to offer.

    A city that deserves the respect that a community of this caliber earns each and every day.

    A city that deserves so much more than to be portrayed on national television as the home of cheap, cheesy, bimbo, backstabbing, barking bitch bullshit.

    From Brentwood Barbies wearing designer shoes with country music playing in the background.

    Shame on you, TNT.

    And shame on whichever "Tennesseans" are party to this parody for profit.

    Given the hype, and the second season casting call clue, it's a good guess that this show will be around a while and will generate a lot of buzz for Nashville.

    And that's a damn shame.

    Because, as I mentioned before, there is one old wives tale that was, for whatever reason, left off that earlier list.

    There's no such thing as bad publicity.

    Turns out...there actually is.



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