Sunday, August 25, 2013

"Faithless Love, And Life's Speedbumps, Like A River Flow..."

Leave it to me.

I read about Linda Ronstadt and the first thing that popped into my head was Seinfeld.

Stand by.



Legendary singer Linda Ronstadt, 67, told AARP today that she “can’t sing a note” because she suffers from Parkinson’s disease. Diagnosed eight months ago, Ronstadt began to show symptoms as long as eight years ago. But she ascribed her inability to sing to a tick bite (“my health has never recovered since then”), and believed the shaking in her hands resulted from shoulder surgery.

In a wide-ranging interview with AARP’s music writer Alanna Nash to be published on aarp.org next week, Ronstadt revealed how she discovered that “there was something wrong” with her voice.

“I couldn’t sing,” she told Nash, “and I couldn’t figure out why. I knew it was mechanical. I knew it had to do with the muscles, but I thought it might have also had something to do with the tick disease that I had. And it didn’t occur to me to go to a neurologist. I think I’ve had it for seven or eight years already, because of the symptoms that I’ve had. Then I had a shoulder operation, so I thought that’s why my hands were trembling.

“Parkinson’s is very hard to diagnose, so when I finally went to a neurologist and he said, ‘Oh, you have Parkinson’s disease,’ I was completely shocked. I wouldn’t have suspected that in a million, billion years.

“No one can sing with Parkinson’s disease,” Ronstadt said. “No matter how hard you try.”

Ronstadt walks with the aid of poles when on uneven ground, and uses a wheelchair when she travels.

Although Ronstadt’s new memoir, Simple Dreams, will appear on September 17, it does not discuss her diagnosis, or the loss of her voice.

Ronstadt, who dated high profile men such as California Gov. Jerry Brown and George Lucas, helped shape the folk-rock music scene of the late 1960s and early 1970s. She started as lead singer of the Stone Poneys, then went on to achieve fame as a solo performer. She has earned 11 Grammy Awards, two Academy of Country Music awards, and an Emmy. Her albums have gone gold, platinum and multi-platinum.



First of all, I should do my choir boy best to insist that I really don't have a glib attitude about this new challenge in Ronstadt's life.

So, I really don't have a glib attitude about this new challenge in Ronstadt's life.

That said...

"AARP music writer"Alanna Nash (and, not for nothin', but given her considerable resume, calling her "AARP music writer Alanna Nash" is, factually, correct but on the same props level with saying, for example, "Yellow Submarine co-writer Paul McCartney")is a Facebook friend and a lot of the comments going back on her forth on her FB page are, understandably, filled with expressions of sympathy, regret, loss, et al.

And while it would be, at best, inappropriate and, at worst, presumptuous and insulting for me to offer up any possible opinion on what Ronstadt is personally feeling at this life crossroads, I can't help but think there's just a smidge more drama in all of this than called for by the circumstances and that, perhaps, even Ronstadt, herself, is inclined to dial said drama down a digit or two.

Cause, here's a thing.

She has, by her own choice and for all intents and purposes, been semi, if not fully, retired from professional singing for, at least, a few years now.

She has made it very clear in interviews that she appreciates the fame and fortune that her abilities afforded her but she was ready to comfortably transition from singing star to single mom, a life that obviously bloomed where planted, given that her two adopted children are now young adults themselves, seemingly healthy, both physically and emotionally.

And while there's no doubt that a physical issue like Parkinson's will play a substantial role in her life for the years that remain, she is on the gently nudging it side of seventy years old now and, I suspect, proud of what was, but confidently looking forward to what is yet to be, in whatever form that might take.

At this writing, Alanna's full interview with Ronstadt is a day away from publication on the AARP website, so, by this time tomorrow, one of two things will be apparent.

I'll look like the right fool for this piece after we read that Ronstadt is devastated by the diagnosis as she was looking forward to singing continuing to be the centerpiece of her life for many years to come.

Or we'll all respect and appreciate her humanness, from here on out, as much, or more, as we have appreciated her singing talent since the late 1960's.

Because, it will turn out, that, by her own choice and for all intents and purposes, she had pretty much already said everything she ever wanted to publicly say.

Or sing.

And, the physical challenges that lie ahead for her not withstanding or inconsiderable, it almost feels like there's a little win/win here.

She has successfully lived life on her own terms and will continue to do so.

And the "loss" of her physical ability to sing doesn't dampen or damage a single one of the hundreds, even thousands,  of recordings of that gift that we, and future generations, will enjoy timelessly.

In an episode of Seinfeld, Elaine dates a guy who shaves his head for his swimming needs.

She happens across on old driver's license pic that show his full, lustrous head of hair.

She coyly convinces him to grow his hair back for her.

He discovers, to his dismay, that in the years since he started his shaving his full, lustrous head of hair, he has, in fact, started to go bald.

And freaks out.

I don't know Linda Ronstadt.

But something tells me that she's got spunk.

The kind of spunk that will carry her into the remaining chapters of her life with the same spirit of adventure and accomplishment that has made her a household name since 1967.

Her singing voice is gone.

But she pretty much stopped using it some time ago.

And I obviously can't know, but I suspect that she's not as freaked out as Elaine's boyfriend.

Bet nobody else thought of that.

Leave it to me.













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