William Shakespeare.
The Syfy Channel.
Allow me.
"A dangerous weather phenomenon featuring large groups of fish with cartilaginous skeletons, five to seven gill slits on the sides of the head, and pectoral fins that are not fused to the head...by any other name.."
The Twitter-verse has spoken. And Syfy listened.
The cable channel asked fans to pitch names for the Sharknado sequel.
The winning title is rather perfect. Here it is:
Sharknado 2: The Second One.
“Since Twitter played such a huge role in the success of the original movie, we wanted to use that platform to ask our fans to name Sharknado 2,” says Thomas Vitale, executive vp of programming at Syfy.. “This response is another reminder of how Sharknado has become a pop culture phenomenon. We want to thank all our viewers for their wonderful contributions to keeping up the shark-mentum.”
The title was selected by Syfy from more than 5,000 submissions via Twitter.
Sharknado 2: The Second One, which like the social media smash original film will be produced by The Asylum, arrives July, 2014.
In a culture blatantly oversaturated with moronic presentations masquerading as cutting edge satire and/or entertainment, the success of "Sharknado" deserves recognition on a number of levels.
Not the least of which is its willingness, even eagerness, to present, and promote, itself as nothing more, or less, than exactly what it is.
Foolishness, even absurdity, fully aware of its foolishness, even absurdity, and laughing at itself, at all times, no less than a few seconds ahead of any laughing at it we are inclined to do.
Put less verbosely, stupidity that recognizes, and celebrates, just how stupid it really is.
As opposed to, say, for example, "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo", "Keeping Up With The Kardashians", Miley Cyrus' current hair cut, anything, musical or not, coming out of the mouths of Chris Brown, Kanye West or John Rich of Big and Rich or anything, at all, coming out of the brain, mouth or pick your bodily orifice of Seth MacFarlane.
Stupidity that simply refuses to take the all important first step on the road to recovery of recognizing itself as stupidity.
By the way, I added Rich to that list because I think it fair and just to say that, in many ways, country music has grown as an industry and pretty much come into its own as an equal partner in the world of show business.
Which is, of course, to say that there's as many talentless morons there as there are anywhere.
Meanwhile, there's the genius that is "Sharknado".
And the satirical spawn of said genius that will be "Sharknado 2".
As for the name, I agree that "The Second One" is appropriately stupid.
In a very good way.
A week or so ago, I made mention of the forthcoming sequel on the daily podcast ("The Daily Boomer" available at www.http://theboomershow.podomatic.com/) and suggested, half seriously and half tongue in cheek in order to segue into the classic Doors song that they should title the sequel, "Sharknado 2- Riders on the Storm"......
After that, I went perusing the ol' interweb to check out what others were offering in the way of ideas.
And found some pretty funny suggestions.
Or finny, as the case may be.
"Shark and Awe"
"The Towering Sharkferno"
"Sharks On A Plane"
And, of course, the obvious spins on other weather phenomena
"Sharkquake"
"Sharkicane"
"Sharkcano"
and, my favorite of that ilk...
"Tsharknami"
Spelled with the T, to boot.
Well, I think I was on to something using a well known song to tie it all together, if only because it would give the movie even more campy relevance, but also provide a title song for the soundtrack CD which any savvy marketer will tell you is a must have when it comes to successful movies.
And even those not so successful.
Show of hands. How many of you own the soundtrack CD to "Glitter" if only because it has Mariah Carey singing on it?
See?
So, although the choice of a title seems to be a fait accompli at this point, or a bait accompli, as the case may be, I still feel it a duty, of sorts, to offer a few last minute suggestions for songs that might fit the bill, or snout, as the case may be, and provide hours of musical enjoyment long after the movie shows up on the 99 cent Budget DVD table at Wal Mart.
"Sharknado 2.........
".......Sea Of Love......."
"......Let's Twist Again...."
"....The Wayward Wind...."
"....Too Many Fish In The Sea...."
"....C'mon Let's Swim...."
"....What Have They Done To The Rain...."
and, use it now or forever regret your missing the boat, there, Hollywood.....
"Sharknado 2...Mackie's Back In Town...."
Obviously, all of these ideas are pretty stupid.
As are Sharknado and the forthcoming sequel.
And "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo", "Keeping Up With The Kardashians", Miley Cyrus' current hair cut, anything, musical or not, coming out of the mouths of Chris Brown, Kanye West or John Rich of Big and Rich or anything, at all, coming out of the brain, mouth or pick your bodily orifice of Seth MacFarlane.
The difference between em?
That's what Sharknado was shootin' for in the first place.
Or fishin' for, as the case may be.
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